No Looking Back

In May of 2017 we bought our dream house. The one I fondly referred to as my forever home. We had talked about moving to the country, finding a little land, and living a slower pace of life. After what seemed like forever, we stumbled on a beautiful house with tons of potential. It had good bones, as the saying goes. We bought it and moved in with Jason's parents for 2 months as we began to renovate it enough to move in. I like to say that we put our guts into it. We literally put all our money into it. After all, it was the house we were going to be in forever. Our kids would most definitely grow up here. We got it just right and then sold it two years later. I found out that being an educator that cares deeply and a parent who loves deeply, are hard to separate.
We put the house on the market in July and received a perfect, full priced offer within the week and closed in August. It's odd, knowing that we chose the right thing, yet still being absolutely heart broken with the disappointment of needing to walk away from what I wanted so badly. The offer came and I knew it would work out and we'd be packing boxes and leaving. The heartache that followed for the next serval months is hard to describe. I mourned what that house was supposed to be, what it represented, what my plans were. We walked away.

Fast forward 5 months later and we are living in an apartment. We have yet to find another house that fits our needs, wants and desires. Our belongings are in storage and we have the necessities with us. I never dreamed that we'd celebrate Christmas here, without a Christmas tree, but I am learning a whole new understanding of trusting the Lord with all my heart. I can not lean on my own understanding because I cannot grasp an understanding yet. I was recently told to not let my past blur what is happening in my future. Recently, I decided to only look back on this moment with fondness. What did it give us and show us in those two short years? Plenty. Without a doubt I know that God has us in his hands. He is leading us. We said we would follow and here we are. He never once promised that it would be easy. Here is what I know for sure: My kids love their new school and teachers and are absolutely thriving. My husband loves not commuting 45 min to an hour each way to and from work. I enjoy my new job immensely and it has given me such new learning that I am growing as a leader and educator every single day. We are happy. Our family is perfectly fine and happy in this 3rd floor apartment. We eat around the dinner table every single night. There is a process here that God is taking us through. We are relying on Him more, trusting Him more. There is more of a focus on our blessings instead of our problems. In reality, minus a house, our problems are very few. I believe more than ever that we are in the right place at the right time. God knows the desires of our heart and as we constantly pray for wisdom, we walk in the truth that God will meet us right there. Whatever happened in the last year, I am thankful for where we are at because it is exactly where we are meant to be.