Happy Birthday Mr. Man

Samuel is TWO. Be still my heart and let's just freeze time right here. Let's face it... he is definitely, most certainly, the most precious two year old of all time... Right? :-)

(overalls courtesy of Jason's mom who has saved these for over 30 years, so this one photo could happen of Samuel wearing his daddy's overalls! Yes, that is even more precious now, right?)

 

Really, this is a kid who will melt your heart. I have learned what the phrase, "all boy" means in the last two years but I have also learned first hand that when people say that boys "love their mommies more" they are right. I love how different he is from his big sister and how perfectly they compliment each other and our family.  I honestly sit in awe some days and watch them play and truly cannot figure out how and why I am so blessed beyond what I ever thought my life could be. So, I stop wondering and join in the fun and relish in the moment.

At two, Samuel loves to snuggle and hug and kiss and yes, it's as sweet as it sounds. If I ask him and Madison to watch a short something while I try to do a quick something, he pulls the couch blanket off the couch, drags it behind him, hands it to me saying, "snuggle mommy, snuggle." Of course, I do. We are late every where we go and the house stays a wreck because of that beautiful, wonderful snuggle blanket!

I have cried at every birthday so far since becoming a mom. Madison's 4th wasn't as bad as the three before that, but Samuel turning two, was still very emotional. I thought I was going to do great. I knew I had lots to do to prepare for his birthday party that was going to happen out of town, so I was ready for him to go to bed so I could start packing everything up.

 Then, on the eve of his second birthday, we had this this conversation as I was putting him to bed:

Samuel singing: "Happy birthday dear Samuel."
Me: "Yes, Samuel it's your second birthday!"
Samuel singing," Happy Birthday to Me!"
Me: "Okay Buddy, lets get ready for sleep..."
Samuel: "I love you Mommy."

Me: "Yes, Samuel, I love you too."
Samuel: "I love you BIG mommy."
Me: "I love you BIG Samuel."
Samuel: "Happy Birthday Mommy."
Me: "Yes, Happy Birthday to you Buddy."
And then I rocked him to sleep and held him a little too long with a big ole lump in my throat and adored this sweet baby face. He is still the sweetest little boy I know! And then in a blink of an eye little Mr. Man was TWO!

I only wish the Happiest of Happy always to this tractor loving little guy.

(yes, he did totally kiss that fish and thought it was awesome!)

Church...

Gracepointe Church and the people of Gracepointe have been so heavy on my heart today. I am not sure why, nor am I sure why I feel the need to start writing to see where this goes, but I've opened my computer and we'll see what happens... I have grown up in church my whole life. I have the most amazing mom who has shown me all about God's love at every turn. My goals in life are constantly growing and changing with every new stage of life. However, one that remains the same as a parent to two young children is to always put God first in all that we do. I want my children to never doubt how big Jesus is and how much his love is for them. All throughout the time Jason and I dated and now married nine years, we have struggled to find a church home that fits the needs of all of us and really speaks to the desires of my heart. Once upon a time we had settled on a "mega-church" of the sorts. I am not sure how big you need to be to have the title of "mega" but it was a large church. It had multiple campus where the preacher was streamed in to watch. We drove the extra miles to be at the home base so we could actually be in the church and not have to watch it on the screen. We went, we sang, we listened, we got fed in the word, and we went home. We really liked it... a lot. Then we had kids. Then we had to wait in line to check our kids into the system. Then we had to drop our babies off with people we didn't know and depending on the service time, we may have never even seen before. It was safe, yes. The people we kind, of course, but something was missing. Fast forward to now. We have been members of a relatively small church in Denton, TX for two years. I have found myself a little eager to try other churches in the area lately and then clear as day,  I know it was God who reminded me of this: Gracepointe has shown the love of God to my family over and over. My daughter's Sunday school teacher, Mrs. Tanya sends her cards in the mail to tell her that she is loved and missed if she is not there. My son runs in the door and right into his Sunday school room , where the people cheer and call him by name. When my mom was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer, Pastor Dave met me at the door and stopped me in my tracks with a hug and God's word and let me cry. The deacons of the church call and text to ask about my mom. Christi, whom my heart loves dearly has happily helped me with my kiddos. Amy Peteet has pulled me aside to just stop and pray and as I hear her and feel God's grace and begin to cry, my heart warms to know that my goodness, the people of Gracepointe are sharing the love of Christ with it's people. I have people that love on my children, pray for my family, and call me friends. What a great place it is to show that we are all people transformed by Grace, walking in faith. I still ache sometime to have more of an "experience" on Sunday mornings, but I think that's between God and I. So, I sit towards the back, sing and praise, and lift my hands to my creator, praising God for all that we have been blessed with and all the grace he shows me on a daily basis. Then I hug Pastor Dave on the way out the door, he asks about my family, and I think... this is the most involved with a church that I have ever been and I know that it is not by accident. This is our church home.

Let's Build!

It's no secret that I've kept an anti-princess stance for as long as I can remember. It's not that I am truly anti-princess, it is that I am against the thinking that every little girl must be the fanciest princess and prettiest belle at the ball. It's about having your self worth not be wrapped up in how pretty and perfect your clothes, hair and make up are, but it knowing that you are brave, strong, loved, funny, kind, and yes, of course, you are the most fascinating belle at the ball because you are fearfully and wonderfully made. It's about loving Jesus and giving back to others and then, yes of course, twirl in that fancy ruffled dress and wear that sparkly crown but use your brain to make and create and play. Oh my, please play and then please play some more. Use that smart brain and then use it some more. Be loud, sing, dance, dig, get dirty, jump in the puddle, have an opinion and believe Song of Solomon 4:7 when the bible says "You are altogether beautiful, my darling, there is no flaw in you."  And know that you have so much to offer the world just besides being pretty. Am I really anti-princess? No... Well, okay, maybe just a little. :-)
Here's the truth. We were so careful to let Madison grow up and make the choice for herself about what she liked and didn't like. I didn't want her to be swayed one way or the other because Jason or I had this idea of what we wanted her to be. We wanted her to grow into her own being. Her room is not pink on purpose. Who says every little girl has to love pink? Our daughter does now, because she chose to love it, not because I told her that's what girls do. Right now at four she loves princess and loves the movie Frozen. On most days Elsa and Anna show up in our living room and they sing and dance and twirl and I love it. I love it because Madison loves it. But I also loved when she was three and loved Fireman Sam and dressed up like a firefighter every day and loved fire trucks. I loved it because she loved it. My biggest fight for my daughter is that she'll do what makes her happy and she'll use this incredible brain that she has been blessed with to do mighty things. We tell her every day that she can be anything she wants to be.
And here's why:
She wakes up and before she ever calls for her parents and ever comes down stairs, she builds. She plays. She pretends and she creates. This is my favorite time of the day. Listening to her talk and pretend not knowing that anyone is listening. It's just her special time to be free. When she let's go and just is, this is what happens in the life of this brand new four year old:

 

And the next day more characters were added:

Plus, she will draw and make maps and color and do art until there is no more room on the fridge to hang any more papers or people we know that we can mail letters to. It makes my heart burst open with happiness to see my kids create and make and do...

Then let's dig for buried treasure and get dirty and know that anything can be washed and that we don't have to be careful of dirty clothes because that happens when you play and have fun. More holes in more jeans? Okay, fine.

Then at the end of a long day as you are supposed to be making your room tidy, you clean up your dress-up by dressing up all your dolls and animals? Doc is Mrs. Claus, Elsa is a mermaid, Anna is Elsa and Rufus the teddy bear is Anna. You are still a ballerina from gymnastics class today? Awesome. Your room looks so very tidy and happy to me.

When I was teaching, I once had someone tell me that it's fine to be a princess as long as you can build the bridge to the castle and know how to be the dragon that burns it down (ha. true story). Is Madison a princess? She most definitely is. But does she know her self worth is so much more than being pretty? I sure hope so.

"I am a daughter of  a King, who is not moved by this world. For my God is with me and goes before me. I do not fear because I am His."



Big Sister Little Brother

 

 

Madison and Samuel ~Forever Friends!

Madison was two when we found out that baby #2 was going to be a boy. I remembering feeling a disappointment that she wouldn't have a little sister like I do. It's so very selfish of a thought, but it was my thought just the same. It's ironic considering that we were sure that baby #1 was going to be a boy and then we felt a slight panic that it was a girl. A girl? Oh my, how do you raise a girl in this day and age? Then baby girl rocked our world in the best way imaginable and we couldn't wait to have another one of her running around. So along came Samuel. This totally laid back, easy going, sweetest little boy that you'll ever meet. He has changed our world in the best was imaginable and together we have this precious little family of four.

Up until recently I have had these thoughts of Madison's little sister and what that would be like for her. My husband is 100% two kids is our limit. I'm 70/30 mostly agreeing that two is great and enough. But I still wonder about Madison's sister... until recently.

Madison is truly a great, loving, huge helper of a big sister. She has a heart of gold and for the most part, unless he kicks over her building blocks, she's very patient and kind with her brother. Driving down the road a few weeks ago, I hear the best, truest form of laughter I have ever heard coming from both kids. Madison was entertaining her brother and he was cackling a high pitched laughter and Madison says, "Look mom, we are holding hands!" She's entertaining him as though he bought tickets to the show. I just happily drove and smiled and listened this fabulous form of love. All of a sudden in pure truth, the big sister says with delight, "Mommy I really love my little brother. He is my best friend." Samuel just continues to cackle and I just continue to look forward and drive happily down the road.

Like a warm blanket, a sensation covered me all at once that let me know that Madison didn't need a little sister. She was a fabulous big sister to a little brother. He was her forever friend.

One of the best things about Samuel is that he is so extremely kind hearted and other people being happy makes him happy. If we are playing with Madison or if she is laughing or having a good time or being silly, he just watches and smiles and laughs too. Her being happy makes him happy. It's one of the most precious faces I have ever seen, to really be happy in others happiness. I often wonder how on earth I got so lucky to have a son like Samuel.

I have decided that I too am on Jason's side. We are very happy as a family of four and that our big sister and little brother being forever friends is a great way to grow up.

May their love for each other continue to grow. May they continue to be friends. May they continue to make each other laugh every day. May they always remember that they have a friend built into each other.

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