A Great Adventure

In the spring of 2016 my wonderful educator friend a I brainstormed the idea of  a Junior Kindergarten program or 5 year olds that wished to delay their kindergarten start date in public school by one year. These kids are usually summer birthdays and usually just need a little bit of time before they enter kindergarten as the older kids of the group rather than the youngest.

It all unfolded as it should be. The group was small and it would not provide an income for two people so God orchestrated a perfect job for my teaching partner and sent me into one of my greatest teaching adventures to date. In what was a rather simple task, Junior Kindergarten launched with 7 students, all summer birthdays, all with the most supportive, genuine parents that I have ever met. These parents were truly advocating for a better education experience for their kids and I was so privileged to offer them that.

I was only the Director of Junior Kindergarten for one year. I had visions and a plan to grow a school and remarkable ideas and dream for this sweet little program. Then God changed our plans, we moved and I am now back in public school teaching first grade. The kids pictured above just finished their first semester of kindergarten and I will tell you that I have thought about these sweet little kids every single day. I pray that their year is just extraordinary and that they are thriving in their school experience. This one year gave me a small glimpse of what would be next and I have since finished 15 hours towards my graduate courses. I will complete my Master's in May of 2018 with a principle certificate to hopefully continue the same ideas of this sweet little school but on a much larger scale. 

Seven months after moving,  I am finally unpacking boxes and setting up my office. I unpacked my two most favorite gifts from this time in my life and have found the perfect spot for both of them. 

As I unpacked these items I told my husband that in 13 years of being an educator that Junior Kindergarten is by far my greatest adventure so far. I enjoyed every single minute of every single day believing that this program would forever change the course of these kids educational future. It gave them a spot to play, learn, have fun and be kids for just a little bit longer. 

However, what most never realized is what Junior Kindergarten gave me. My mom passed away in June. July and August was spent brainstorming and getting ready for Junior Kindergarten and August through May gave my life such a purpose that I will forever be grateful for. Most families didn't know that I had lost my mom so the conversations weren't about me, or feeling sorry for me, or trying to figure out what to say in my mom's absence. Our conversations were full of life and laughter and happiness with a common goal of doing what is best for kids, something that I love to talk about the most! The conversations were about the future and moving forward and living in the now. The truth is that I am pretty sure that I would not have survived that first year without my mom if it were not for the kids and families of Junior Kindergarten. This program offered hope to my broken heart and a purpose for my future. The families will never know the gratitude that I will carry with me for the rest of my life, for them taking a chance on this little program that I believed in with my whole heart. 

These kids and families have long moved on from Junior Kindergarten and I pray every day that kindergarten is absolutely magical for them. I will long ago just be a memory, but to me, I will forever have once upon a time been their teacher in what has proved to be my most favorite adventure to date. 

A Peace that Surpasses Understanding ...

We have moved... We have packed up everything, put it all in storage, stayed with the in-laws, slept in bunk beds ( I was on the top bunk)  for 45 days. All by choice and all with such a peace that we knew we were making the right choice. We've moved out of the hustle and bustle of an every growing, faced paced city for a very small piece of the country that lets us run further, breath deeper and watch the sunsets with more purpose. We've moved for this:

It was and is and will be a great choice for our family. We just need to unpack two more storage sheds and a million more boxes. But the kicker to all of this is that myself and my kids are heading to a small 1A school. How small  a 1A school is, I still can't fathom it, but they play 6 man football if that helps paint the picture of small.

I have spent the last week over worked, overly exhausted and truly overly cranky wondering if I missed something. Did I miss the purpose? Will this place under educate my kids and fail me as an educator who reaches for the stars on my life's mission to change the world? I dream big and at the moment I am pinning away to start and finish my master's in education in 1 year. Impossible? Yes. Worth it? Absolutely. But in that exhaustion I have forgoten how I arrived at this place that is still so foreign to me.

Then I remember where I was and where I've come from and how I have been lead to where I am. I prayed, for literally years, that God would show us where to move. That he'd show us the just right house that he's been saving just for us. That he'd show me where to raise my family and where to use my talents he's give me and here we are. I haven't missed anything. I had just forgotten who brought me here. I literally have a home that the sun rises in full view from the front and sets perfectly in the back every day. I stop each morning and watch the sun rise in the quiet of my house and thank God that his mercies are new each day. He actually gives me a glimpse of His glory and His heaven each day from my front and back door. Now if that is not exceeding my expectations than I am not sure what is. I have experienced more happiness and freedom in these last few months that I can remember in years. My stresses have started to melt. My anxiety is less and the sadness and depression from losing my mom is starting to be replaced by hope for my future and my big dreams that I once again have permission to daydream about.

I take the long home home on most days just so I can feel a like I am nestled a little more in the country than I really am. I am so thankful to be where I am, knowing that it is no mistake, even though people I know think we are completely insane. It's good. Today, while I was driving I put the same song, "God of Miracles,"  on repeat as I had over and over in the last year, just praying for a miracle, for a sign, for a change that God already had His perfect timing on. Today I listened to those words from a stance of a thankful heart, remembering how far I've come and once again, I knew without a shadow of a doubt that the peace that I am experiencing is because we are living out the plan that God has set before us. Today, I remembered to be thankful once again.

Welcome Home. 

Right before my eyes...

This little girl has grown up right before my eyes. Have I seen it? Maybe I missed it.  I think I've missed it. People always say, "time please slow down...." but it won't and can't and will not, unless you purposefully stop in these moments and see. Really see. Look closely.
In this moment I stopped, I saw and I prayed that this moment would not slip through my fingers.

Kindergarten has truly changed everything. Being six has made an impact on this little girl. She continues to be kind, loving, and sweet but she's also growing feisty and her emotions are growing up with her. There is something incredible that happens when your little heart and soul turns into their own little person.

She spends her day away at school and with her teacher and with friends and influences more than what she spends at home at now. The emotions of people hurting your feelings at recess are real and the bully that makes fun of your lunch in the cafeteria is real and life begins to morph and change so quickly. Do you see it? Can you feel it? When I stop to look, to really look and to listen, to really listen, I see how much has changed in such a short period of time.

I love it but my heart aches all at once. It has always been my dream and prayer for my daughter that she would be strong, confident, independent and will grow into the child that she dreams to be. Not what I make her. I have loved her so fiercely that sometimes the lines of where my heart stops and  hers begin are blurred. She made me a mom. These hearts are so intertwined that as they begin to pull in separate directions, they stretch beyond what I knew was possible. I hope I have spent my days loving her enough, teaching her enough, supporting her enough, snuggling her enough, reading with her enough, praying over her and with her enough. As she continues to grow up I pray she'll have no doubt where to run when she hurts or when she sad, or when she happy, or wants to celebrate her accomplishments. I am here. I am always here. I just hope I stop enough to actually slow down time.

----------

My Darling,

The one thing that you have that nobody else has is you. Your voice, your mind, your story, your vision. So write and draw and build and play and dance and live as only you can.

Be you.

The LORD your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with loud singing.

Zephaniah 3:17