So, to catch you up ... I'm a stay at home mom! :-) Yay for me.
So -- fast forward. I think I am okay not being in the classroom because technically I still am in the classroom. I teach pre-k at our church school two days a week on Tuesday and Thursday. I have 9 kiddos and I co-teach with my sweet friend who I love dearly. We teach these kids whole heartedly every day that they show up. We give it all we have and everyone is better for it, I think. On that same note, I take Samuel and Madison with me every T/Th. They love it. They love school. They love their teachers and they love their friends. They sing and learn about how much God loves them and I love that. So, I actually started this blog to talk about them- hmmmm... lets change gears. I obviously need more adult interaction in my life by the signs of my ramblings...
School started after Labor Day. So the weeks before us starting our pre-school everyone I knew was posting darling photos on-line of their children's first day of school photos. I mean darling. Total cuteness. The kind, where I had to Pintrest, which I never do, because I too was going to have one of those cute photos. I mean, I am expected to do that right? I am a stay at home mom now after all! So I found the picture. I had it in my brain. I knew what I needed from Hobby Lobby. Then school started and I hadn't lifted a pair of scissors or a bottle of glue. School started anyway.
At the end of the day, I caught two ladies that I work with walking down the hall. One had a frame, the other had a camera. I used both. I grabbed my kids and begged them to cooperate while sweet Lindsey took photos and e-mailed them to me that day (what?!) Madison was crying to stay and color, Samuel was crying to go home and in the middle of it, she captured this:
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Really this photo is so perfect. The way it all happened is real life. Let's go with it, right?
I wish, but instead I "faked" the first day on the second day and was able to get Madison on her
"first day"
In all reality, Madison is the only one I needed. Madison is the only one I find myself stressed out about as I feel "real" school sneaking up on us. Don't think that I am totally crazy, because yes, I know that I have two years ahead of us, but time flies for sure. I see kids in high school that I taught yesterday in kindergarten. I read all these blogs about parenting and sending your kid off and then as if my anxiety wasn't high enough already, I read excerpt from Rob Lowe's book about sending his kid off to college and I cried so hard I couldn't breath.
I have hugged more crying parents on the first day of kindergarten than I have crying kids. Honest. I always assured them on their way out that a great day was in store. I knew that. I knew I would love their child. I knew I would show them all the magic kindergarten had to offer. What I didn't know until now is what that deep ache in the parents heart felt like when they had to walk out and leave their child in my care and know that it had started. The walking away part had started. Their child would find their own way to my room, we'd play and laugh and learn and have fabulous days. The parent had to walk away and know that their days home with their child were numbered and the time just ran out. I feel that now. I feel that already. I panic. But here is also what I do. I sit with Madison and I fully engage in our conversations. I twirl her around in that blue Elsa dress that she loves so much. I take her to gymnastics and watch her jump and play with true kid excitement. I listen to children's music all day every day. No, really every day. We write her name with chalk and swing so high we try to touch he clouds. I tickle her so much that she begs for me to stop through her laughter. Then I look in her eyes and tell her how much her mommy, her daddy, her brother, and Jesus love her. I hug her a little extra long and sneak in a few extra kisses, because my time to walk away has not arrived. Not yet.
